Where available you can see match reports by clicking on a highlighted date or game scorecards by clicking on a result (n.b. not all matches have been/will be chronicled due to a "winning" combination of strong drink, idiocy & midges)
And for those of you complaining about the lack of pictures etc. then have patience ! There are only so many hours in the week, I'm not sober for very many of them, I'm rapidly running out of web space and my computer keeps going belly up. But rest assured I'll be getting my act together and putting some more up soon.
Now where on earth are those Alka Seltzers ? Ah... right behind the brandy decanter... What ? there's some left ? Oh to hell with it just hand me a glass... no, not that one, the pint pot ! Mmmm. that's better... (oh do get on with it - ed.)
Okely kokely, here's da swag:
|24/04/2003||Away||Land Registry||Drew||Match rained off. Our first game of the season and it's an unexpected two points in the bag for the "masters of disaster".|
|30/04/2003||Away||South Shore Shovellers||Lost||Even going off for rain twice couldn't help us escape a sound thrashing.
Man of the match: Barrington "Baz" Stoddard for taking our one and only wicket.
|08/05/2003||Home||South Shore Shovellers||Lost||Lost
again, and the third game of the season sees our first defeat at
fortress Thornton... Ravaged by the midges and some inspired Shovellers
batting the Jollys again manage to take only a single wicket from the
Shovellers who amass a total of over 160.
In reply we manage a spirited 54 for 7.
|15/05/2003||Home||Nights of Bacchus||Lost||Another
defeat... But why was the bar at fortress Thornton full of scouts (both
boy & girl) ? And what on earth was the mayor doing there (honestly
we kid you not) ? Still... this didn't stop us getting changed in the
fresh air. Changing rooms ? That's a TV program for puffs that is.
Naked in amongst the swirling clouds of midges, just the way the Gods
intended.... that's us.
|22/05/2003||Home||Blue Wall Lodge||Drew||Well
we never did get to see who the "Blue Wall Lodge" were due to the
torrential monsoon weathers making the pitch somewhat waterlogged. We'd
have been happy to play in trunks 'n' flippers but the owners don't
like that sort of thing....
Still I suppose it's another two points in the bag !
|29/05/2003||Away||Pick Up Central Heating||Lost||Sadly
there was no sign of rain this week (despite us rain dancing til we got
blisters) Perhaps the resulting blisters go some way to explain our
suprising lack of mobility in the field (this is a pitiful grasping at
straws - ed.)
|05/06/2003||Home||Layton Institute||Lost||Oh dear... we simply didn't take a wicket and allowed the institute to post a decent total. Not only that but they kept losing our best balls by smashing them out of the ground. Needless to say our batting didn't rise to the occasion but a spirited last couple of overs saw us stop them getting a batting point.|
for our side ! At last... the seasons first victory after an inspired
performance saw Oggs and Stuey put on a magnificent 100 partnership.
Following this display of manly heroics our bowlers also rose to the
occasion and after a thrilling 14 overs the institute needed 25 off the
last over to win.
But the Jollys were not to be denied and the evening saw a delighted landlord serving up pint after pint to our intoxicated heroes !!! is this the start of a roll ? Stay tuned for next weeks inebriated episode !!!
whatcan I say ? Was last weeks game the start of something special ? As
for the second week in a row the Jollys actually win a game. Not only
that but in some sytle too. Having batted first we amassed a club
record 162 for 4 from our 14 overs with Stewie hitting a magnificent 75
not out and Dave Carylyle posting a very respectable 42.
And as if this wasn't thrilling enough our bowlers pulled out all the stops too bowling out a distressed looking Warbreck Hill for a mere 43 runs ! Highights include Lord "Baz" Stoddard taking a regal 3 wickets for 9 runs (off 3 overs) and the Uberpope Raptor Ramjet KSC taking an unheard of 3 wickets for 7 runs (off 3 overs)
This is simply unheard of in the history of the Jollys and left a number of our side wondering whether they were suffereing some sort of mass hallucination... Perhaps a drug test is in order ?
Only downside of the evening is that your humble scribe dropped his digi cam after the game so there won't be any more pictures 'til the repair man has done his magic and drained my threadbare wallet......
|28/06/2003||Home||Land Registry||Nowt ?||Botheration....
another fine cock up sees Fortress Thornton double booked with the
inrepid Thornton juniors (who can actually play the game). So without
further ado the two gallant captains decide that, instead of
rescheduling the game, we should take a radical step by making our next
meeting (in the cup) a DOUBLE HEADER.
Yes thrill seekers you heard that right. The deal is that whoever wins our cup encounter also gets the points for the league game. Blimey ! PHEWWHATASCORCHER strong>
|03/07/2003||Home||South Shore Shovellers||WON||Well
sadly your scribe wasn't at the game (due to both leaving work far too
late and also having a tremendously bad back) and it seems I missed a
treat as, after several years of trying, the Jollys continued on the
rampage and, after another fine performance, finally managed to beat
the South Shore Shovellers !!!
And once again Stewey is our hero after contributing a magnificent 50 followed by another spot of ubertight bowling ! The game itself was apparently a cracker with the Jollys batting first and posting a reasonable 114 off their 14 overs. Following this S.S.S. batted steadily but some tight fielding saw them reach their last over still needing another 15 to win.. But thanks to Steweys nerves of steel they only manage 10 and the Jollys end up winning by 4 runs.
However it must here be mentioned that there was a slight mar on the game as the captain of S.S.S. did not accept defeat with the grace of a champion but instead proceeded to have a temper tantrum, threw his toys out of the pram, and tried to start a fight !!!.
Now quite why anyone would want to start fighting after losing a game of cricket (in the Blackpool & Fylde thursday league at that !) is beyond me. As I mentioned previously we've consistently lost to S.S.S. (and most of the other teams in the league) over the last few seasons and do we cry and stamp our feet ? No we just carry on laughing, drink our beer and look forward to the next game.
So in this spirit I shall finish with a fitting quote from Lady Pippa Hoppity-Strang (age 4) who, after her team won the Bogcaster council under 5s netball tournament had this to say to the opponents:
"Ner, nerny, ner, ner.... We are the winners......
Ner, nerny, ner, ner.... And you are the losers"
Egad, whatever next ? Help nurse.... my nose is bleeding... these dizzy heights.... these dizzy heights....
dear... it's back down to earth with a bang as normal service was
resumed in this match. Despite going in to the game with a new found
optimism the Jolly Boys suffered one of their "traditional" batting
collapses and, despite a spirited wag from the tail, we only managed to
post a miserable 54.
Good grief.... And it could have been even worse than this but for "Carpet" Col putting on a splendid 10 not out for the 9th wicket.
Needless to say a somewhat relaxed Land Registry soon piled the runs on and left us coming out of the eagerly awaited DOUBLE HEADER with absolutely nowt... Not a single point... Nada !!! In fact it was such a dissapointment that most of the midges didn't even bother to have a quick bite.
Oh well, it takes more than a sound thrashing to dampen our spirits, so we simply crawled back under our rocks where we can fester away quietly until next weeks clash - away to the Nights of Bacchus.
|17/07/2003||Away||Nights Of Bacchus||Drew||Oh
dear, oh dear..... After a simply glorious week, where the Sun brazenly
paraded around in a good two thirds of his hat collection, Mr Rain
decided he couldn't wait any longer and promptly showed up to spoil our
But... intrepid fools that we are we still made our way down to Great Ecky where we had several pints and a right nice bit of curry in the White Bull. So a bad day for cricket but a gourmets delight !
|24/07/2003||Away||Blue Wall Lodge||Drew||Well
once again we were due to face the mysterious Blue Wall Lodge but the
rain Gods spared us the experience with a traditional summer downpour.
Still you can't have a green and pleasant land without a decent watering can, can you ?
|31/07/2003||Home||Pick Up Central Heating||Lost||Bah... Another fine loss and not a picture in sight.|
|07/08/2003||Away||Layton Institute||Lost||Guess what ? We lost and, again, there were no pictures|
|13/08/2003 or 14/08/2003||Cup Semis||?||n/a||Oh well, looks like the semis were nothing to do with us after all !|
|21/08/2003||Home||Warbreck Hill||WON||The season ends on a high note ! but the lack of pictures is once again pathetic.... We must do better next season - both on and off the field :)|
|Position||Team||Played||Won||Lost||No Result||Drew||Batting Points||Bowling Points||Points|
|1||South Shore Shovellers||14||11||1||2||0||12||7||67|
|2||Pickup Central Heating||14||7||5||2||0||10||6||48|
|4||Nights Of Bacchus||14||5||6||3||0||8||2||36|
Batting: C. Burns (South Shore Shovellers)
Bowling: A. Pickup (Pickup Central Heating)
|Position||Name||Innings||Not Out||Runs||Average||High Score|
|1||C. Burns (South Shore Shovellers)||9||6||329||109.66||49*|
|2||M. Clinning (Pickup Central Heating)||11||5||345||57.60||53|
|3||D. Tucker (Land Registry)||9||3||296||49.33||103*|
|4||M. Downing (South Shore Shovllers)||9||3||237||39.50||57*|
|5||A. Pickup (Pickup Central Heating)||9||2||215||30.71||50*|
* indicates the batsman was not out
|1||A. Pickup (Pickup Central Heating)||24.6||173||18||9.61||5-15|
|2||A. Gillibrand (South Shore Shovellers)||20.7||118||11||10.72||6-5|
|3||D. Tucker (Land Registry)||33||215||17||12.64||4-18|
|4||K. Owers (Layton Institute)||37.4||269||21||12.80||5-21|
|5||M. Clinning (The Dunes)||36.5||285||16||17.81||3-18|