10th June 2009 Away to Wyre

Well it was not looking so good this afternoon as lunchtime saw the start of some reasonably heavy showers. But thankfully after an hour or so Mr Sun decided he was having none of that and took out one of his best hats. So a pleasant summer evening saw us all gather at Cottam Hall for this seasons first meeting with Wyre.

Once again Dave managed to win the toss (he's doing very well this season - ed.) and we decide to bat. However by this time Mr Sun had gone off for some tea and a little lie down which gave the rain clouds the opportunity to come out for a wander. So just in case they decided to start raining on us the aptains decided caution is the best policy and we agree on a 16 overs game.

And there was feast of cricket action with no fewer than 3 Jolly batsmen retiring after scoring 25 as we piled on 129 for 4. But it wasn't over yet as this was followed by some poor bowling at the start of the Wyre innings which allowed them to start piling on the runs. Thankfully though we managed to tighten up the bowling and eventually Wyre finished with 108. Highlight of the bowling though was Darren McKenzie taking a hat trick just as Wyre were starting to look like they were going to beat our total.

So once again it's hip, hip hooray ! for the Jolly, Jolly J !!!


Once again we arrive in good time and start making ourselves at home on the S.S. Pavillion which, due to the afternoon showers, has the usual rivers running round the edges.


But what's this ? The Dr. Who stickers, a firm favourite from seasons past, have been cleaned up and a lick of paint has been applied to the wooden surfaces. But not enough of a lick to cover the traces of Whoery.


Meanwhile out on the pitch the Wyre squad seem to be all present, correct and raring to go.


So now we're just waiting the arrival of the more suave members of our squad as Ian saunters in fresh from his latest fitting at Jermaine Street.


But then it happens... just as the Jollys are about to take to the pitch one of the hat beasts from dimension X leaps from the outfield, casts aside his hat and tries to mind meld with Ogs.


Thankfully Baz is on hand and distracts the mad beast by pointing out the presence of "A Study In Woodworm" a local artwork by the great local artist Gustav Bin-Fishin.

Luckily the hat beasts are very keen on culture and the sight of high art causes the terrible creature to forget it's mission of world domination as it leave Ogs' head to have a closer look.


Well after all this early excitement you'll be pleased to see that the game is now getting underway. Once again we've won the toss and, having decided to bat, Darren and Tom lead us out to begin the game.


And hooray for Stu ! He's been having a root through his wardrobe and has found the last of his patented "anti hat thing" hats ! And they've still got the tags on. A lucky omen if ever there was one ! (what on earth ? - ed.) Judging by the flock of hat things that have started to creep up behind him we're going to need them.


Back on the pitch there's been plenty of action (none of it suitably captured on camera - ed.) and Tom is forced to retire having scored a magnificent 26.


Closely followed by Will who goes one better by hitting a 4 whilst on 24 and therefore retiring on 28.


And what's this ? It's Ogs also retiring with a splendid 25. At this point you'll probably be wondering why there are no pictures of cricket action. Well sadly, due to the position of the sun and the angle we were taking them, most of the long shots all ended up a bit dark. (another poor excuse -ed.)


Well all this batting excitement is certainly entertaining the fans on the pavillion. So much so that D.J. Napier himself decides to put in an appearance.


Once again though the innings ends, we take to the field, there are no pictures taken and the next shot is of the match ending with a victorious Jollys commiserating an unlucky Wyre side. If it hadn't have been for some tight mid innings bowling they were looking very likely to beat our total !


The greatest shame of all though was that, due to the lack of pictures, you're not able to see proof of Darrens exploits after he took a superb hat trick.

Fact fans will remember that this is the first time a Jolly has managed the feat since "Carpet" Col's magnificent effort at Old Nells - where he took a hat trick whilst bowling on crutches with a broken leg.


But it's not all good news. Sadly the pavillion artwork was not of sufficient quality or quantity to deter the hat things for very long.

As soon as the game ended they flocked to the now tired and defenceless Jollys. Poor Shannon and Ogs are forced to become unwilling hosts to the sinister beings from dimension X... And they're not happy about it at all !


So after our victory we retire to the Old Town Hall expecting to find a feast of sandwiches. However Linda has heard malicious rumours alleging that we said we prefer Simon's sandwiches to hers.

So instead of the expected feast we find ourselves presented with small plate of rhubard and ginger jam butties, a walnut, two slices of red onion plus a hefty bill ! (although there wasn't enough to feed a small wasp they were actually delicious ! -ed.)


But following a splendid bit of acting by Des, who swore blind that they'd forgotten we were playing so Linda made up the little plate as a joke, the truth is revealed. We have in fact got the most marvellous, nay positively magnificent, tray of sandwiches.

On which note it must be said that this rates right up there as being out best ever after match spread !


So at the end of this weeks installment we leave you with the last image of a happy, smily sandwich man toasting the weeks success !

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