2nd September 2007 Finals Day

Ho hum. There I was lying flat out with a temperature that would put the cloakroom attendants of Hell to shame, sweating profusely, munching aspirin and wishing I was at finals day. Oh well I thought at least one of the Jollys will take at least one picture and email it to me. Just one picture. Let's say at least a team photo before the games start. It's not too much to ask is it ? Not on finals day ?

Well that's where you're wrong as apparently the wonders of modern technology are too much for our simple minded cricketing brains. Pointing a scary magic box in the direction of the action and pressing a button is simply incomprehensible to these simian buffoons. "Ugh. Magic box make big light, me 'fraid boss".

And, if rumours are to be believed, what's worse is we actually won the damn thing. So we even had the opportunity to have a picture of the Jollys actually holding a trophy which we'd legitimately won. The first time the club has ever won anything whatsoever (not including the Dr. Alimantado "worst dressed chicken in town" award which we made up and awarded ourselves after a particularly distressing season - ed)

Oh well, This being the case I'm not going to trot out the usual "there were no pictures to show you" excuses. I'm just going to make up my own match reports using random images found on the intarweb... Ho hum... c'est la vie.

So the last remaining mystery is where is the actual cup itself ? Rumour has it that it was left either in the Thornton changing rooms or "somewhere along the road back to the Old Town Hall" but even the Jollys wouldn't be that drunken and stupid would they ? (as if you didn't expect as much all along -ed.)

Well done. Fantastic just told Shannon she wants to see pictures of the trophy and medals. Also did Roger play ?

The Semi Final vs Blackpool EVH

Well here we are. Err... It was a great game which started out with some batting and bowliing. In a short while (er... 20 overs ? -ed.) there was a slight interval after which the battists changed into bowlists and vice versa and we proceeded to enjoy another innings of batting and bowling action. Throughout the game wickets were taken, catches were dropped, catches were held, runs were scored and we narrowly won to move through to the grand final. Err.. yes, that was how it went. (will this do ? - ed.)


The umpires start the day with an early pitch inspection...

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Followed shortly thereafter by a "pipping hot" Balti slice. (You can't umpire on an empty stomach - ed.)


Meanwhile the fans start making their way into the arena.


And they're full of beans. Boston Beans that is. Mmmm... Amongst my favourites ! Shame there'll not be any on offer at the pavillion.

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Speaking of food another classic dish is Cheese and Onion pie. Very nice indeed ! Rumour has it there might have been pies on sale in the pavillion.

They quite often are at sporting events.


Back on the wicket the actions hotting up as Daisy, Bluebell and the rest of the girls wonder what all the shouting in the next field is about.

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Botheration... Just as it was going so well a mighty six is hit out of the ground and we lose the ball. Oh well best organise a search party then.

Any volunteers gentlemen ?


Oh oh, looks like trouble as a second set of umpires arrive with jaws agape. Have we gone and booked two sets of umpires for the day ? If we have there could be trouble as there'll be an "Umpire-Off" to the death.


No it turns out well after all as the second pair of umpires had actually come to see the unveiling of the clubhouses new painting "The Umpire's decision is final" by lady Philpottina Barkingge-Madde esq. Kindly donated in lieu of subs by some errant first teamer by all accounts.


And the end of the first game sees the white Jolly goat narrowly beating the black and white stripey Blackpool EVH goat and we move on to take our place in the final. Hip, hip horray !!!

The Final vs Rushale

Well here we are again as we move into the final. And after somebody won the toss a team went in to bat. Oh yes. Once more there was some good bowling and some bad bowling. There was good batting and bad batting. Wickets were taken, catches were taken, catches were dropped and runs were made. Phew, soon it was half time.

So we go into the second innings with a team needing to score some runs to win. And try they did ! But after more batting, bowling, fielding, umpiring, drinking, shouting and chanting a victory was for the taking. And it was taken in a manner no one has bothered to tell me about. But I believe that the Jollys came out on top so hooray for the Jollys ! (this is truly pathetic - ed.)


Excitement has reached such a fever pitch that even the local praying Matis' are turning up for a look. (that and to pull each otheres heads off and eat them - ed.)


The stands are now so packed that kids are having to sit on their mothers backs to get a look in.


The fever pitched atmosphere sees some good natured bantering break out between rival supporters... "who are you looking at you big eyed, lolloping, floppy eared, grass cruncher ?"


"Not you for sure you big beaked, web footed, fish faced, feathered fool so there."


Meanwhile out at sea the Jollys refreshment supply has found itself becalmed in still waters. But they'd best get the mainsail hoisted a.s.a.p. as with all the er... stuff... happening in the game they're going to need them.


Ay caramba ! I would not like to foot the lettuce bill for this little lady (actually it's a gentleman and Tortoises eat much more than lettuce -ed.)


The object of this gentlmans attention is a 4½ foot (that’s 1.2 metres in the new money) fossilized penis bone taken from an extinct walrus !

And with the look on his face I expect that someone off camera has just broken the news as to what he's actually holding !


After that last picture I'm going to sit down and have a nice cup of tea.


And a Shrewsbury biscuit (or seven).

Ingredients: 1 stick butter, ½ c. sugar, 2 egg yolks, 1 ½ c. all-purpose flour, pinch of salt, zest of 1 lemon, 1/3 c. currants

Method: Preheat the oven to 350ºF. Grease two large baking sheets. Cream the butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. Add the egg yolks and beat well. Stir in the flour, salt, lemon zest and currants. Mix at medium speed until you have a fairly firm dough. For a long time, it will look like breadcrumbs, but continue mixing until it all clings together. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead lightly. Roll out to about ¼" thick. Cut into rounds with a 2-2 ½" fluted cutter and place on the baking sheets. Bake for 15-20 minutes until firm and light brown at the edges. Makes about 30 biscuits.


Hooray ! There was lots of great cricket action and after another hard fought game the Jollys emerged victorious !

So for once it truly is Hip, hip hooray for the Jolly, Jolly J !!!

A Joyous Christmas indeed !!!

biting_midge_small.gif Midge Report: Bzzzt. Well they might be champions but to us they're just walking sacks of blood. Bzzt. So we'll still be chewin' away at 'em at every opportunity. Bzzt. And we'll be back next year too so see you all then. Bzzt. Bzzzt.

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