23rd August 2007 home to Wyre

Well it's our first match for two weeks so we've all forgotten how to play the game. In fact a large proportion of us have forgotten all about cricket and have booked ourselves in to go off on holidays, attend weddings etc. etc. So it's a much under strength Jollys that take to the field for the final league game of the season.

But our luck with the coin holds up as thankfully we win the toss and, as usual, elect to bat (with only 6 players having arrived by this point it's just as well ! - ed.) In fact our attitude towards the toss can be best summed up by quoting the old cumedgeon Geoffrey Boycott who himself says:

"When you win the toss - bat. If you are in doubt, think about it - then bat. If you have very big doubts, consult a colleague - then bat.".

So we get off to a good start with Darren and Powelly putting on a steady flow of runs. Thankfully this seemed to draw in a few more members of the squad and a steady trickle sees our strength improved to the point where we have ten players !


Well the games due to start and there's not much sign of the Jollys. Luckily the youth team are available so they get straight to warming up "just in case".


Meanwhile back at the wicket the game's underway with Darren and Powelly opening. Just make sure you see a couple of overs out lads as we're sure there ar emore Jollys to come.


Tony manfully performs scoring duties whilst fretting that he may also be next in (there's nothing like a bit of pressure eh - ed.)

Meanwhile yours truly swans about with the golden excuse that "we need this weeks match report so I've got to take some pictures."


Botheration. The games not long started before Powelly lofts one up and is caught. Which means it's Tom's turn to take the long walk to the middle. At this rate young Joe P. might get a bat !


But we needn't panic too much as Tom gets straight to work with his usual aplomb.


Hooray the stragglers are starting to arrive. Although to be fair Jol did warn us he would be late. Lets just hope he's brought some runs with him.


Well Jol arrives just in time to see Darren given out L.B.W. And he's not a happy man but as any cricketer knows "The umpires decision is final."

Still he added a much needed 14 so we're slightly happier by this stage and it does mean it's "Time for the Ogden Burger".


And, thanks to the usual pitiful continuation in the narrative, we now move on to Tom being dismissed. Again though he's added 9 to the total and the score is ticking along nicely.


We interrupt this broadcast for a word from our sponsors. Regular readers will have noticed the lack of midge biting in this seasons reports and could it all be down to this miracle of Italian insect repellant technology ?

As it say on the bottle "OFF !" (I think their lawyers made them take off the original first word for legal reasons -ed.) and we've certainly noticed that it does indeed lead to "Ne Punti, Ne Unti" which the babelfish translates as "It heads some. Of greased.".

Too true boys, too true.


Out at the wicket Jol seems to indeed have brought a bag full of runs to the game as he's in fine form spraying the ball round the field like a good 'un.

Not to be outdone Ogs is also making free with the scoring shots and the run rate has now climbed to an impressive "just over one" a ball (sorry we can't do the maths without using our personal mainframe - ed.).


Excellente ! Here's Ezmondo !!! At last we're getting up to something like a fielding strength team.


And it's just as well as we see the rare site of the Ogden Burger being dismissed. As he's overly fond of telling us in the pub it's not happened much this season and he's got the runs to prove it.

Still this gives Tony a chance to palm the book off on someone else.


Well it's only a few balls later and here's Jol retiring after scoring his 25. Good man !


In fact very good man. Thanks to a winning combination of slightly fading light and poor wokmanship most of the remaining pictures are somewhat blurred so we can only leave you with the teams leaving the field after the Jollys innings.

Still we managed a creditable 96 which is one a ball and Wyre will do well to beat that total.


Obviously there were no picture opportunities from our escapades in the Field - especially seeing that our intrepid cub reporter Joe Powell was pressed into fielding for us. And an excellent job he did too as some tight bowling by the Jollys restrict Wyre to 90 leaving us close winners in a well fought encounter.

At this point regular readers will probably be scraping themselves off the floor as a casual inspection of the league table shows us as being top of the league !!! So this season it really is hip, hip hooray for the Jolly, Jolly J !!! (eds note - He spoke to soon, Rushale actually ended up top of the league on run rate)

So see you all on next Sunday (02/09/2007) for finals day at Thorton Celevelys cricket club.

biting_midge_small.gif Midge Report: Bzzzt. Well it's no wonder we can't get near the fat fools. Bzzt. How can we compete when they're "heading some of greased ?" Bzzt. "Ne Punti" indeed. Bzzt. Oh well looks like we'll just have to evolve a way round it for next season. Bzzt. In oher words business as usual. Bzzt. "Ne Unti" my wings... Bzzt. Bzzzt.

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